Treading asphalt is when I think most clearly
I am reminded of all that been, is and was
It is like I am chasing after it all
But it does not make sense anymore

I used to tread asphalt and smile
Because I used I have a place to go
A heart to go home to, a place I belonged
Treading isn't all what it used to be

You consume my thoughts while I accelerate
The dash lighting illuminating the streams down my face
If only you and others knew what I tread home to...


An empty heart

I have never been all that versatile
With my words, that is
But you cause me to convey what I feel most
But conveying isn't all that easy

I struggle to find that balance
The one where I feel free and at ease
With you around me, my heart tenses
There is no freedom that I seek
How can there be with you around?

Stares and glares are avoided
But I see yours prying away when they can
I steal a glace every now and then
If our eyes lock, it only reminds us all of the words said
And that cannot be spoken again

And you cause me to convey what I feel most
And conveying isn't all that easy
I have never been all that versatile
But babe, I gave it a try

So, this was written 2 weeks ago and I am just now posting it...

I have come to the realization that I have taken the time to be thankful for everything that has been given to me. This week, I can honestly say I have seen how God is working in my life and how He provides for me.

This week has been a bit frustrating due to my car breaking down again and having something brought to my attention which was hard to hear. All in all, I feel like a failure half of the time time and that debt is creeping around the corner like luring  stalker. It is a scary thing to be here on my own, trying to find myself a new life, a new start.

Lately, I have been trying to put all the "bumps" aside and see all the great things I have going for me. And here is what I have compiled:

1) Parents are offering to assist with the car situation not they have to
2) I have a big sister who looks out for me and gives me advice
3) I have a great job with a source of income needed for my independence. Plus my team is so supportive!
4) Pets are great. My two cats are so sweet and make smile daily.
5) I have my own place and privacy. Some peace has been granted.
6) Friends are priceless. I have friends who come on a moments notice and look out for me. I have friends who love and appreciate me even though I am flawed. They talk to me when I am down, send me "get well" gifts, help me move and have thought of me and my apartment. They ask me how I am. Through them, God has provided me with so much.
7) When those around me do not know my situation but help me out. Panera Bread was closing the other night and instead of throwing away the left over food, they gave me extra; more than what I paid for. I felt so fortunate because it turned into two meals.

Through all this frustration, I have decided to start my organizing business or plan. We'll see where it takes me here in Nashville. With that being said, there are just a few things I am thankful for.


Seek your blessings.

xoxox0