I am really hoping that I am on the right track at this point in my life. As I approach my 24th year of existence ( I sound so dramatic... ), I cannot help but think “When is this all going to make sense?”. Right now, I would really appreciate some understanding of what everything means. It does not seem to be getting any easier. And these are supposed to be the “years of my life”.
It is very possible and very likely that I just over think everything and I care too much. Actually, this makes complete sense seeing as I fall into the ENFJ (Meyers Briggs) category. There was a time when I was so confident and happy with my looks and actions. Due to life happenings and heartbreak, it took a toll on my soul; what makes me. Now, I seem to wonder if anything I say or do is right. Maybe this is why I have started to resort to staying in more and keeping to myself; that I am fighting. Life is saddening when you allow the effects of the past to continue to inflict damage in present time.
I am just now realizing how true this is for me. While I am so happy with how things are turning out and love many aspects of my life, I feel so lost in other parts. I over think, I worry, I doubt and I never used to as much as I do now. I am only 24 but there are so many things I cannot unbend. There are some things that I take so seriously and maybe that is what makes me stand apart from other people my age. Am I taking this life too seriously at my age?
Finding a solution to all these thoughts and worries seems far fetched. I feel that some of my worries can only be overcome by either what is meant to happen (Whatever that may be!) or by overcoming the actual worries. I do not believe either choice is simple or easy. I do not know what is meant for me and my path. I do not know God’s plan for me. I worry about that plan and I do not see how overcome worries when there is no clue or end in sight.
I guess I have to trust a little. Trust a little more in God and trust a little more in the human race to get me through this.
No comments:
Post a Comment