Well, I will go on to state that this blog post will not be a poem and it will not be sung as the term "ode" typically implies. However, I am filled with joy. It's bursting at my seams.
How I've obtained this wonderful feeling I know is not my own doing. Sure, I've been smiling more, laughing frequently, and letting go of negativity; living life one day at a time. My heart has been softened and I know I cannot fully take responsibility for it. I have so much to be thankful for. Prayers are being answered, pieces are falling into place and I can only point to one source. God.
In comprehending this blog and reading back on my posts, I realized that I was forgetting to mention on dominant constant in my life and that is my belief and utter faith in God. God has made Himself extremely known in my life for the past twelve months in a big way and I could not have made it through without him.
I am forever changed in a beautiful way. Of course, I still have some consistent flaws and some not-so-beautiful moments but I know God is molding me. I want him to. I now know what it means to allow Him in. I did not know how closed off He was until everything I had known in my world came crashing down. Everything came crashing down for a major reason.
God removed me from a lot turmoil and pain in my life and while the transition was difficult, the result could not be better. I'm free and alive. I'm joyful and I finally feel as though I am living the life He always wanted me to.
"High King of heaven, my victory won,
May I reach heaven's joys,
Oh, bright heavens Son!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my vision, oh, ruler of all"
- Be Thou My Vision
"Ancient Irish hymn, possibly from the 8th Century, tr. by Mary E. Byrne"
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